


You See Me Smile (But I Won't Be Happy)

by prettyghostboys



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Good Friend Alex Mercer (Julie and The Phantoms), Good Friend Julie Molina, Good Friend Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Peters Angst (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Peters Has Bad Parents (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie snaps about his trauma after bottling it up, The T Rating is because of cussing, Vaguely Based on a Tumblr Post, made this while in my feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28688637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyghostboys/pseuds/prettyghostboys
Summary: Julie gets the boys to do a band bonding camp out in her backyard and the boys talk about their families, leading Reggie to open up about feeling he'd bottled up and hidden.
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Julie Molina & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters
Comments: 2
Kudos: 63





	You See Me Smile (But I Won't Be Happy)

Reggie has always been good at putting a smile on his face and shoving down the negativity, only allowing himself tears and anger in the solitude of his room or the beach, wherever he could get away from people. 

Unfortunately for him, now that they’d died and became ghosts he doesn’t quite get that luxury. Not that he really got the opportunity a lot alive either, what with being the eldest of seven kids, there was only so much privacy you could get. Being the eldest among his friends almost gave him similar feelings, like he had to keep up the appearance of happiness to keep everyone else entertained, avoiding any arguments or fights. 

Apparently, his friends didn’t seem to get that same message. They weren’t arguing or fighting, Reggie would almost prefer that over them hashing out their negative feelings. About death, their families, other random stresses or traumas. Reggie felt sick even thinking of telling his friends what happened, he’d rarely discussed his parents, and when he did he was purposely vague. He’s still positive that Luke and Alex believed that he was really just extremely accident prone and not that his home life was less than ideal. 

“I know my family wasn’t bad, they could’ve been a lot worse, but it just really hurt to not be supported by them for the one dream I’ve ever had, you know?” Luke mumbled, looking up towards the sky from his place in his sleeping bag. 

_ Sleeping bags _ , he thought,  _ we’re in Julie’s backyard.  _ It was unnecessary, but Julie insisted on them for the atmosphere. A heart-to-heart band camping session.Reggie still wasn’t a fan of the sleeping bags though, he hated their texture. It wasn’t that bad of an idea though, not until they hit the rockier subjects. 

“Parents are supposed to support their kids, no matter what, I think you’re valid to be upset about it.” Julie replied, smiling over to Luke. 

“Yeah, I don’t think our parents got that note.” Alex snorted. “My parents treated me and my sister like strangers in our house when we came out to them, until she was finally old enough to move out on her own and I started bouncing between sleeping at her place and at Luke’s more than I slept at home.” 

“That’s horrible.” Julie whispered, face crinkled in concern. “You’re loved here though, you know that, Alex.” 

“Yeah,” The drummer grinned. “Yeah, I know. Reg,” Reggie glanced up and met Alex’s blue eyes. “You’ve been pretty quiet, wanna talk about your home stuff?” 

“Not much to talk about,” The bassist shrugged, focusing his gaze on the sleeves of his flannel he began to fidget with. “Parents drank and fought a bunch, I took care of my siblings. That’s all there is to it.” He tried to keep a slight pep in his voice, like he was making a joke out of the situation. A hand placed itself on his knee and he looked up, seeing Julie give him an encouraging smile. 

“It’s alright Reg, through it all you came out stronger. You’re still the sweet, happy you.” She gave him a smile, and he knew she meant well, but her words made his stomach give a sharp twist and he quickly pulled his body away from her touch. Her eyes flickered with confusion and concern, but he didn’t give her a chance to speak. 

“No, no.” He spat, pushing down the nausea as he continued. “You don’t get to say I came out stronger, like what they did is an okay thing for parents to do. You weren’t there, you didn’t experience what I went through.  _ I  _ made myself stronger, because I had to be. I made the choice to be nicer, so that no one else had to experience the shit I put up with.” He stood up slowly, his legs shaking beneath him as he tightened his arms around himself. “My parents don’t deserve credit for shit, they barely even deserve to be called  _ parents _ . They didn’t make me good, they didn’t make my sisters good,  _ I _ did that. All this trauma did to me was make me confused and broken and scared and…” He trailed off as he voice cracked, cracked like the dam behind his eyes as his tears began to fall. 

His legs, despite his better efforts, gave out beneath him. His knees hit the soft grass, and he curled in on himself, the grass brushing his cheeks as he sobbed loudly and openly, for the first time in a while. 

His friends were silent for a little while, although he could vaguely feel their presences floating just outside of the bubble of tension he created. As his sobs shifted to shudders and whimpers, they drew themselves in, pulling him into a group hug. 

“You’re right, Reg, I’m sorry.” Julie mumbled, her own voice breaking with tears. “I didn’t mean to imply anything, you’re strong and sweet because of you, you put work into that.” It was her that was rubbing his back in reassurance. 

“Damn, man.” Luke sniffled, squeezing Reggie tighter into him. “I didn’t realize how much shit you had to deal with, you’re really somethin’ else.” It was him who had his arms wrapped around him tightly, attempting to shield him from the world—or maybe the world from him. 

“You’re not broken, maybe a little tired and worn, but never broken.” Alex pressed a gentle kiss to Reggie’s forehead, a rare show of affection from the blonde. “You said it yourself, you made yourself strong, I doubt anything they could do could break you.” It was him that was carding his hands through his hair, a motion that was no secret that calmed down the bassist. 

Reggie just nodded, afraid that if he opened his mouth the nausea would return, so instead he sat there as his friends held him, all whispering reassurances to him, to each other. Murmurs of love and appreciation, sighs of support and hesitation, small inklings of hope. 

  
Reggie fell asleep to the sounds of his friends, dried tears on his cheeks, patches of pink upon his face and a heart bursting full of love, because  _ he _ chose them,  _ he _ worked towards the place he was in now, and despite it all, he made himself strong enough to get here. 

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a lyric from 'pity party' by lovelytheband, and the tumblr post can be found [here](https://prettyghostboys.tumblr.com/post/639896892445278208)


End file.
